even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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