If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize