you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
