dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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