well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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