took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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