I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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