is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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