anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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