So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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