covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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