Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
