At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
