like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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