dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize