Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
