Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
