First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
