DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
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He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
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Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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