Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
