Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
