hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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