You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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