yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
