If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
