ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize