He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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