Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
even my farts smell like vagina
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
