Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you never un-have a 4some
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
