Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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