he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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