dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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