Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
