i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
