my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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