hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
