Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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