if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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