Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize