Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
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You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I have post one night stand depression
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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