We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
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I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
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he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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