I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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