I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize