I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
