i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
