im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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