He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
