My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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