I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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