He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
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The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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