No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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