hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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