He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize