Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
