you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
