Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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