you would pick up someone in the library
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize