oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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