just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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